We'll be right back....

In the meantime, please enjoy some refreshments like popcorn with hot buttery topping! Or how about a wiener on a stick? I could sure go for a nice frosty soda pop! And dad's, don't forget to pick up a gooey fresh pizza pie! Please feel free to relax in our ventilated smoking lounge.



Our show will resume shortly...

M-Day -6

Okay, less than a week before the biggest self-inflicted upheaval in my life occurs. Am I nervous? Ha ha. Freaked. But, actually less so than 48 hours ago. That's okay, I have time to build up the butterflies again. For now though, I'm cool.

After some prodding from some friends, I finally ditched the movers and decided to rent a truck and do the move myself along with at least a couple of stalwart buds (others may pop in and out of the action throughout the day...really, I'm a lucky fellow). Somehow, that makes me feel better. Yeah, they're cheaper than movers (that makes me feel better, absolutely). But I think the main thing for me is, and I apologize for being soppy, it won't be such a lonely affair anymore. I can't recall more somber moments in recent memory than packing up my place by myself. Again, it's one of those I-don't-know-why sort of things. I guess digging up stuff that I've somehow buried in this little place, my first home I bought and paid for on my own, for the last 7 years has unearthed memories that I wish I could have talked about as they were rediscovered...and then pitched. Yeah, I got rid of quite a bit of stuff (but I still have tonnes of boxes so go figure). I'm moving to a new place so some things (like 7 year old jars of bay leaves) have to remain buried in the old place.

So anyhow, thanks to Keita and Alfi for finally pushing me over the edge and forcing me into somehow driving a 17 foot truck for the day. I've driven an SUV. It's not a pretty sight. And thanks to everyone else who have offered to help. In at least spirit, you'll be there as I move into my new home.

BTW, Bell Canada really sucks as a service.

Cheers

(Current Asian Drama: Bus Stop (Japanese); Just completed: My Lovely Sam-soon (Korean). Current Anime: Detective Conan. Last movie: The Host)

Far Out, Far East Cinema: Survive Style 5+

Survive Style 5+
(dir.Gen Sekiguchi)

"You know you wanna watch..."

I’m not sure I could accurately describe this movie with coherent sentences. Oh, all the words would probably be common and familiar to those who cracked open an elementary school level dictionary. Whether they make any sense, like the film itself, is up to you. So instead, I’ll just tell you what is in the movie:

• A man who may realize he actually loves his fire-ball spitting wife only after he kills her over and over and over…and over and over and over…and over


• A family salary man who turns into a chicken


• An arrogant hypnotist (played with just the right amount of gouda by “Trick’s” Abe Hiroshi) with a cod piece that would and should put Superman to shame


• A self-absorbed ad producer who seems to only have any emotional gratification from the commercials she comes up with in her head


• A trio of would-be house thieves dealing with underlying homosexual tendencies
  Vinnie “I’m the Juggernaut, bitch” Jones as a judge-jury-death dealer hitman who considers life to be something you earn, not a right

Some of the sets are colourful and imaginative. The music enhances the whole slick, stylized tone of the movie. What else can I say?
While the movie seems to channel the story-telling techniques of Pulp Fiction, with multiple-storylines intertwining and diverging throughout in an almost random sequence order, it definitely goes beyond the “What’s in the suitcase” fantasy levels of Tarantino’s effort. A woman dies literally a hundred hideous deaths. A man flies (doubly strange because the bird he believes himself to be is a chicken). Did I mention Vinnie Jones?
Rather than explaining whether I liked the direction or if the performances were adequate or if the script served the story, the best way I can review this film is how it made me feel as I watched it to the end. I felt like I was at a carnival freak show. I bought a ticket. I entered the tent. I saw some extremely bizarre shit everywhere, I felt uneasy looking at it -some of it even eliciting an unexpected grin or chuckle- but instead of turning around and leaving through the entrance, I made my way through the whole experience and came out on the other end definitely not thinking I was better for having gone through it. But then I turned around and popped my head back into the tent to be sure of what I had just witnessed.
And that’s what I did with Survive Style 5+. I stuck my head back in and replayed various parts of the movie, reviewing the bizarre and freakish characters and stories. So while I’m not certain I can say I loved this movie, I’m pretty sure if it was a movie I hated or was frustrated with I wouldn’t have done that. So is the movie worth watching? I hope it is. I’m hoping more people will see it and tell me what the hell they thought it was about. I’ll even buy the ticket. Step right up, folks. Rating: B

"If you think I look weird, you should see what I'm packing in my tights."

Think Of The Children!

Things I’ve learned while working in the Children’s department of the library:
Public performance videos don’t rewind fast enough when there are kids waiting to watch them.
You can smile all you want, but if you want the kids to really like you, wear something goofy on your head.
Parents say what they need 10 times faster than their children but are more difficult to understand and less patient.
Fish die…often.
Kids find dead fish more interesting than living ones.
During story time, nothing riles up the kids like a good joke about poop (or farting).
You don't want to rile the kids up during story time.
Good sarcasm is wasted on the young.
Don’t feed the kids anything with sugar during a program.
Internet shminternet. Give them some broken crayons and a few scraps of paper and they’re ecstatic.
Harry Potter rules!
The Hardy Boys don’t.
Nothing is cuter than watching a toddler chomp down on a board book.
Nothing is more disgusting than watching a toddler chomp down on a board book.
10 year olds should not have cell phones.
We’re a free babysitting service.