Think Of The Children!

Things I’ve learned while working in the Children’s department of the library:
Public performance videos don’t rewind fast enough when there are kids waiting to watch them.
You can smile all you want, but if you want the kids to really like you, wear something goofy on your head.
Parents say what they need 10 times faster than their children but are more difficult to understand and less patient.
Fish die…often.
Kids find dead fish more interesting than living ones.
During story time, nothing riles up the kids like a good joke about poop (or farting).
You don't want to rile the kids up during story time.
Good sarcasm is wasted on the young.
Don’t feed the kids anything with sugar during a program.
Internet shminternet. Give them some broken crayons and a few scraps of paper and they’re ecstatic.
Harry Potter rules!
The Hardy Boys don’t.
Nothing is cuter than watching a toddler chomp down on a board book.
Nothing is more disgusting than watching a toddler chomp down on a board book.
10 year olds should not have cell phones.
We’re a free babysitting service.